DVD Purgatory

R.I.P Peter Falk

2011-06-26T21:12:00.000+10:00

Threshold the Complete Series

2011-02-12T14:32:00.005+11:00

The 90's weren't kind to genre shows with quick cancellations of Nowhere Man, Harsh Realm, the Dark Shadows remake, and American Gothic. In the noughties, well thought of series such as Journeyman, Surface, Invasion, Persons Unknown, Flash Forward, Firefly and others, didn't fare much better and were all gone within a season. Threshold is another show that was given little chance of success, despite its potential, and was gone in 13 episodes.

The Threshold series comes from the post X-Files world, where everyone knows that aliens and conspiracies run rampant on planet earth, but the government does their best to convince us otherwise. The story starts when a naval ship ( the humorously named USS Bighorn ) sights a UFO and most of the crew are killed. The government enacts the Threshold Protocol led by Dr Molly Caffrey ( the convincingly smart, realistically unsettled, and cute in glasses, Carla Gugino from Watchmen ), and including Data from Star Trek The Next Generation, Charles S Dutton ( Alien 3 and Mimic ) and the midget from Death at a Funeral.

Caffrey discovers that aliens are trying to rewrite human DNA with audio signals ( something I believe has also been tried at recent music festivals, judging by some of the "people" I often find myself traveling with on public transport ) and some sort of cosmic Spirograph. If the aliens were a little trendier, and had some level of forethought, they could have planted their signal in iPods, and changed the world quicker than even Steve Jobs or Mark Zuckerberg might have imagined.

The writers were careful to not reveal too much too quickly, but failed to reveal enough to capture the audience they needed. Mix together "Invaders", "X-files", and the "Thing" and you've got an idea of what to expect. Sure, they're here, but 5 years on, do we really care?

Monsterquest?

2011-02-08T14:41:00.002+11:00

Black Hole

2011-02-02T14:42:00.002+11:00

Masterchef

2010-12-12T14:39:00.000+11:00

A Nightmare On Elm Street (2010)

2010-12-06T14:37:00.004+11:00

The latest in remakes takes the 1984 horror masterpiece A Nightmare On Elm Street as its inspiration. This time around, Jackie Earle Haley (Watchmen) takes the role of child molester Freddy Krueger. Krueger comes back from the grave to seek revenge on the children of the people who killed him.

I don’t think there is anyone better for playing a small, wiry, twisted, nightmare killer than Haley. He oozes malice. The film though, is nothing exceptional, and there is a lack of killing and surreal visions. I could say that about the last six Nightmare films too. Despite the lack of originality, I still enjoyed Krueger haunting the teens, including Kyle Gallner (Jennifer’s Body), Thomas Dekker (Terminator The Sarah Connor Chronicles), Katie Cassidy (Supernatural), Kellan Lutz (Twilight), and Rooney Mara (Urban Legends Bloody Mary). Watching the film made me think of an interesting twist, what if Krueger was innocent and was wrongly killed.

George Lucas

2010-12-05T14:45:00.001+11:00

Machete (2010)

2010-12-03T13:16:00.007+11:00

Robert Rodriguez (Planet Terror, Sin City, From Dusk Til Dawn) assembles a dream cast to make the full length version of the trailer he created for Planet Terror / Deathproof double.

The ageless Danny Trejo (Predators,Fanboys, Blood Ties) finally has lead billing in a film. He is Machete, a Mexican ex-Federale illegally in the USA. Machete finds himself caught up in the dealings of a Mexican drug lord (Steven Seagal – The Keeper, Urban Justice, Against The Dark, Cockpuncher), a US Senator (Robert De Niro – Frankenstein, Brazil), the senator’s spin doctor (Jeff Fahey – Darkman 3, The Lawnmower Man) and his trashy daughter (Lindsay Lohan – I Know Who Killed Me, Mean Girls), a Mexican hater (Don Johnson – A Boy And His Dog), an Immigration Officer (the hot Jessica Alba - Fantastic Four Rise Of The Silver Surfer, Dark Angel), and a taco selling activist (the even hotter Michelle Rodriguez – Avatar, Fast & Furious, Resident Evil).

Rodriguez’s film is deliberately retro, violent, and funny. Iam sure much of what he does is what they tell you not to do at film school. That just makes Machete better. I’m still confused about the message the film is trying to convey, still appalled by some of the effects, and still amazed at how good the finished product is.

Toy Story 3D (2010)

2010-12-02T13:05:00.004+11:00

Woodie (Tom Hanks), Buzz (Tim Allen) and the gang of toys are back and things look dire for them. Their owner is growing up and going to college, and the toys find themselves sent to a day care centre. They are lovingly greeted by the existing toys when they arrive, but the warm feelings subside as Toy Story 3 turns in to a prison movie with a malevolent warden and vicious guards, and Ken (Michael Keaton). Ken is great, and he loves fashion.

When the action is inside the day care centre, the film is very good and very dark for a children’s movie as it reworks prison movie cliches. The overlong, feel good ending, which is probably needed to cheer up the children watching the movie up, is less enjoyable.

Predators (aka Predator 3) (2010)

2010-12-01T12:38:00.003+11:00

A group of unconnected killers wake up in a jungle and have to work together to fight a group of Predators.

Predators does away with the unnecessary story elements that slow down many action films to focus on action and conflict. This is the first of the Predator sequels to capture the spirit of the original. It's a simple premise that has character, comedy, guns, twists, and an impressive cast including Adrien Brody (Splice), Topher Grace (Spiderman 3), Alice Braga (I Am Legend), Walter Goggins (The Shield), Oleg Taktarov (Bad Boys 2), Laurence Fishburne (The Matrix, Cherry 2000) Danny Trejo (Machete, Fanboys), Mahershalalhashbaz Ali (The 4400), and Louis Ozawa Changchien (Robot Stories).

Lost Boys The Thirst (aka Lost Boys 3) (2010)

2010-11-30T18:34:00.001+11:00

Lost Boys is classic, Lost Boys The Tribe is not. Lost Boys Thirst is in between, thanks mainly to Corey Feldman (Bordello Of Blood, Bikini Bandits, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) doing his best to save the film on his way to saving the world from vampires.

Feldman reprises his role asEdward Frog from the previous two films, and he is even reunited with his onscreen brother Alan Frog (Jamison Newlander). Corey Haim was meant to be there to make up the trio from the first film, but his untimely death meant he is only seen in flashback.

The Thirst combines elementsof recent vampire mythos with the classic Lost Boys scenario. That means we have young, sexy vampires distributing vampire blood as a drug (as seen in True Blood) at nightclubs (like in Blade) and we even reference Let The Right One in (when a vampire enters a house uninvited). Top that off with Feldman doing his best Batman voice (continuing the serious attitude he had in the first film), some digs at his own reality show, and flaunting an array of inventive weapons, and you have a film that works as unsophisticated entertainment. I expect there will be another film, and I look forward to it.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (2010)

2010-11-29T18:21:00.003+11:00

This is supposed to be the darker Harry Potter. It’s not really dark, and that’s because the series is hampered by its juvenile beginnings and main audience. There is a little blood and killing, but nothing too sinister. It’s part 1 of a two parter series finale, and that does allow them to avoid a happy ending (much like The Empire Strikes Back) as Harry and friends continue the fight against he who must not be named (Lord Voldemort).

The films, like the books, suffer from too many characters and no flow in the story. There are fewer characters in this film, which should simplify matters, but there is still no pace or rhythm. There is potential to create a sense of despair or suspense when Harry, Hermione, and Ron are on the run in some impressively desolate locations, but it doesn’t happen. The film jumps from drama to action to comedy to boredom with no cadence. A wedding is thrown in for no apparent reason, as are people flushing themselves down toilets. The film is a mess and increasingly tedious as it progresses. At least young males have Emma Watson for eye candy. I’m not sure who young women have to ogle in the film. Robbie Coltrane? Alan Rickman? Bill Nighy?

Monkeys

2010-09-30T15:17:00.002+10:00

The Indians dont know what they're playing with because likely they saw some sort of Bollywood version of Planet of the Apes where everyone just dances and sings... forgive them, they know not what they do.

District 9 (2009)

2010-09-13T18:05:00.005+10:00

Aliens land on earth and, rather than landing in Washington or Moscow and going on a global rampage (eg Earth vs the Flying Saucers, Independence Day) or spreading their message (V, The Day the Earth Stood Still), they become stranded in South Africa. The aliens aren’t assimilated into society (eg Alien Nation, Third Rock from the Sun) but herded into a slum where they become bottom of the social hierarchy.

This is the kind of science fiction film we don’t see enough of – original and thought provoking. District 9 succeeds because of its intriguing premise, a clever and socially aware script, and effects, despite the fact it has less of a budget than a trip to the hairdresser by james Cameron.

Brilliant.

Abominable ( 2006 )

2010-09-10T13:53:00.006+10:00

If ever there was a more accurately named film than "Abominable", then I would be very surprised.

Although Bigfoot has had a long and illustrious career in Hollywood ( 6 million dollar man, and bigfoot & wild boy to name but two ), even he must've had qualms about lending his hairy visage to this cinematic travesty.

Matt McCoy ( who played Commandant Lassard's nephew in the Police Academy films after Steve Guttenberg had enough... and seriously, what does it say about your film when even Guttenberg says "no" ? ) returns to his home in the woods for the first time after a tumble off the perhaps foreshadowingly named "suicide peak", left his wife dead and him confined to wheelchair. From there, the film enters what could only be described as Rear Window meets Harry and the Hendersons territory, when Bigfoot shows up and starts murdering the nubile co-eds that have naturally moved in next door... all as poor Matt looks on.

Some reviewers kinder than me, have praised this films "claustrophobic use of space", its "hitchcock-esque feeling of dread", and its "quick pace"... personally, I think they're just trying to find a roundabout way to say its the kind of film that would have Alfred spinning in his grave fast enough that you could sharpen your knife on him.

The shower scene is a nice momentary distraction, but the last time I saw a moon that pale and voluminous, the Wolfman was howling below it.

After making films like this it's no wonder that the Sasquatch's appearances in public have dwindled of late. Too ashamed to show his furry face no doubt.

The Runaways (2010)

2010-09-06T15:57:00.007+10:00

The Runaways are bigger now than they have ever been. That’s good for some (mainly Joan Jett who owns the rights to the music) and not so good for others (those members of the band who can’t capitalise on the increased fan base).

This film is based on the book by singer, Cherie Currie, and guitarist Joan Jett is executive producer. That gives the film credibility but also means the film may be a little biased in its representation of the facts. Currie (Dakota Fanning – Twilight New Moon, Push), Jett (Kristen Stewart – Twilight, Jumper) and, to a lesser extent, the band’s manager, Kim Fowley (Michael Shannon – Bug, Dead Birds) are the focus of the film. Drummer Sandy West and guitarist Lita Ford are virtually ignored, while Jackie Fox had her name excluded from the film and the replacement bassist is known as Robin (played by Alia Martine – Whip It, Arrested Development).

The Runaways is a glossy version of band’s story, and most of the unpleasant events in the group’s tumultuous career are ignored and replaced by a girl’s own adventure. Jett comes across as a flawless demigod, Currie as an innocent girl gone wild, and Fowley as a not too slimy manipulator. The movie may be sanitised view of these revolutionary musicians, but Stewart and Fanning are convincing, there is a general air of fun and excitement, and the costumes and music are wonderful. If you want to know more of what went on, there is always Edgeplay for a more intimate look at the drugs and bickering and abuse. If you just want a good time, then stay with The Runaways.

Barbara Windsor

2010-09-03T20:16:00.006+10:00

Strangely, even watching the Carry On films... I never really found Barbara that attractive. In Eastenders, it would be safe to say that generally, she annoyed me a lot... In fact, that would probably be an understatement. Yet now that she's leaving, I actually find it a little sad. Sigh... I'm so fickle.
"We didn't get a lot of money and we did always seem to be doing outside shots in winter but it paid the mortgage and I loved it." - On her Carry On movies

Twilight New Moon (aka Twilight 2) (2009)

2010-08-30T15:47:00.003+10:00

Twilight New Moon is longer and even duller than the first film, Twilight. In the two hours of story, almost nothing happens. Forget supporting Team Edward or Team Jacob, I’m going for Team Victoria. Anyone that wants to kill this pack of mournful losers has my support. And what is with painting six packs on the male actors?!

Robin' You All

2010-08-23T20:24:00.000+10:00

What We Do Is Secret (2007)

2010-08-09T13:55:00.010+10:00

The Germs were a pioneering LA punk band led by the mad genius Darby Crash, although the term “genius” may be an exaggeration. The Germs were not that well known in their day, but they have grown in stature since, and this is their story.

Darby saw punk as an avenue to indulgehis five year plan, and that included rock stardom. Things didn’t go according to plan, and Darby’s turbulent musical, sexual, and drug practices left him outcast, disenchanted, and suicidal. The limited footage and press I had seen of Darby lead me to believe he was somewhat of an idiot, in the style of Sid Vicious. If this movie is to be believed, he was more intelligent and philosophical than Sid, if equally self destructive.

ShaneWest (Dracula 2000, TheLeague Of Extraordinary Gentlemen) is very good as Darby. He has the look and the attitude. The feel of the film is great, down to replicating what I had already seen of those times (eg footage from The Decline of Western Civilisation). It no doubt helped that Darby’s guitarist, Pat Smear, was involved in the production. The poorest point is the actors who play Dave Vanian and Captain Sensible from The Damned. They are laughable. The funniest point may be the re-enactment of Joan Jett’s production on The Germs album. It’s an interesting look at an interesting time and an interesting individual.

Duck Tales

2010-08-03T20:14:00.000+10:00

The Keeper (2009)

2010-06-29T10:21:00.005+10:00

Steven Seagal (Against The Dark, Urban Justice, Cockpuncher) isn’t even trying anymore. This film reworks his far superior Hard To Kill with touches of Man On Fire.

If you want a laugh, read his entry on imdb that starts, “Steven Seagal is a striking, somewhat boyishly handsome looking (often with ponytail), and usually impeccably dressed action star”.

I think Grant Morrison said it better in The Authority.

Outlander (2008)

2010-06-23T15:01:00.011+10:00

I was in the mood for some Viking action, so I grabbed Outlander and prepared myself for hairy men fighting each other.

Kainan (James Caviezel – The Prisoner, Highwaymen) is an alien astronaut who crash lands on Earth (referred to as an abandoned seed planet) at Norway in 709AD. On board his ship is a “dragon” creature called a Moorwen. Kainan finds himself treated suspiciously by the locals, caught between warring Viking clans, including Ron Pearlman (Mutant Chronicles, The Devil’s Tomb, Hellboy 2, The Last Winter) and his very big hammer, and trying to kill the monster.

This film borrows liberally from the original Planet of The Apes, Predator and the usual sword and sandal epics. The Viking sets and costumes look great, the CGI monster does not. This would have been a much better movie if it was shorter and had more Viking action.

Jennifer’s Body (2009)

2010-06-22T14:00:00.000+10:00

At first glance, Jennifer’s Body looks like another teen girl possessed by a demon goes on a killing spree movie. But it’s more than that. The pairing of writer Diablo Cody ( Juno , United States of Tara ) and director Karyn Kusama (Girlfight Aeon Flux) gives this film more character than the usual teen kill fest. It also has more to it than a scantily clad, blood soaked Megan Fox. Although you wouldn’t know that from the film’s publicity.

Anita "Needy" Lesnicki (Amanda Seyfried – Veronica Mars, Mean Girls) is not the prettiest or most popular girl at school, but her best friend, Jennifer Check (Megan Fox – Transformers, How to Lose Friends and Alienate People), is. They are out one night when Jennifer ignores her friend’s advice, runs off with a touring rock band, becomes possessed by a demon, and starts seducing and killing people. No one will believe Needy when she tries to explain what is going on, so she sets out to fix the problem herself.

Jennifer may be the titled star, but the story revolves around quirky outsider Needy, who is stronger and more astute than people realise. There is sex and violence, but the film is laced with comedy and clever dialogue that creates a level of complexity above and beyond the usual for the genre. Juno meets Carrie.

Edgeplay a film about The Runaways (2004)

2010-06-21T13:43:00.001+10:00

The Runaways looked great and rocked hard, but what really went on behind the glamorous leather and satin imagery? I wanted to know more in preparation for the hip, new Runaways biopic, so I went back to this recent documentary.

The Runaways second bassist, Vicki Blue, directed this film and assembled the original band members, drummer Sandy West, singer Cherie Currie, guitarist Lita Ford, and bassist Jackie Fox, as well as being in front of the camera herself. The film also includes their original manager, Kim Fowley, Cherie’s mother, Suzi Quatro, and others that were involved. It’s a story of sex and drugs and rock’n'roll and exploitation and scheming and ambition.

Edgeplay is low key and very personal. Vicki (now known as Victory Tischler-Blue) lets her subjects talk and they do not hold back, explaining in detail and honesty what happened in The Runaways. It’s emotionally intense, but not all the experiences were bad. Cherie lets us know how good Joan was in bed, and seems happy with that knowledge. Sandy is particularly upset about the demise of the band. She died in 2006, making her dreams of a Runaways reunion impossible. A sad end for a ground breaking musician.

It is a fascinating and informative film that is let down by a lack of editing (there are times it drags and is repetitive) and abysmal direction (the camera has a habit of roaming off its subject for no purpose). It’s also let down by Joan Jett’s absence and her refusal to allow any of the music she owns the rights to be used in the movie. What is a musical documentary without the music? All we have is some live footage of The Runaways performing two cover versions. That does not help capture the mood of what is going or show how talented these women were. Thankfully the subjects and their candour make for engrossing viewing regardless of the film’s shortcomings.

3d

2010-05-17T22:40:00.001+10:00

Dr Who

2010-05-15T22:38:00.001+10:00

Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll (2010)

2010-05-14T12:43:00.000+10:00

Andy Serkis (King Kong, The Lord Of The Rings) plays Ian Dury in this mixed up biopic that glosses over most of Dury’s life. Dury comes across as self centred and obnoxious in a film that focuses more on his personal life than his music. Dull and disappointing.

The Book Of Eli (2010)

2010-05-13T13:05:00.004+10:00

Kung Fu meets The Road, as Denzel Washington (The Taking Of Pelham 123, Deja Vu) goes all warrior monk and walks across a post-apocalyptic America (reminiscent of the wild west, but with cannibals) with his treasured book. Gary Oldman (The Unborn, The Fifth Element) once again plays a psychotic bad guy, and the American fascination with linking old men with much younger women continues, as Mila Kunis ( Forgetting Sarah Marshall , Max Payne ) becomes Denzel’s disciple.

The Book Of Eli has a name stars in a b-grade setting (not a bad thing), good performances and action sequences, and Malcolm MacDowell (Doomsday, Heroes). It is a good post-apocalyptic film. It would be very good if not for the overwhelming religious implications and some nonsensical scripting.

Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! (aka Strippers Vs Zombies) (2008)

2010-05-12T11:31:00.000+10:00

A good title and a good trailer do not a good film make. Strippers Vs Zombies takes the premise of Zombie Strippers (zombie virus infects a strip club) and fails to inject the story with anything interesting (story, characters, action). There are a couple of cute girls amongst the strippers and hookers, and there is a fair amount of zombie killing and CGI blood, but there is a lack of drama, tempo or humour.

Watching this film made me want to go and watch Frankenhooker again so I can see hookers explode after consuming super crack. I do like Frankenhooker.

Kick-Ass (2010)

2010-05-11T10:00:00.009+10:00

I’m very fond of the Kick-Ass comic. I like the superhero references. I like the humour. I like the violence. And I like the theme. The film makes the usual concessions to the source, and mostly they are okay. Film audiences are less cerebral to comic readers, and they need be appeased by simpler and more direct means. This does not mean that Kick-Ass has been dumbed down, just simplified for the masses.

Dave (Aaron Johnson) is a disgruntled, outcast teen who wonders why noone has tried to be a superhero before. He thinks he has want it takes and becomes Kick-Ass. His first attempt at heroics is less than successful. Dave soon finds out that there are other heroes in town, namely Hit-Girl (Chloe Moretz) and Big Daddy (Nicolas Cage). There is romance, comedy, pop culture references, organised crime, and plenty of action in this colourful, delightful, violent outing.

There is a lot to like here. The writers know what they are doing, what they want to say, and they know the superhero medium. They treat it with a balance of respect and ridicule. Cage finally has himself a decent movie, after a dreadful run that includes Bangkok Dangerous, National Treasure, Knowing, and Ghost Rider. When he dons the Big Daddy costume (which is very Batman like) he channels Adam West, and it’s magnificent. Moretz as the 12 year old foul mouthed killing machine is also a laugh.

Iron Man 2 (2010)

2010-05-10T13:55:00.006+10:00

Iron Man was a pretty good film. A little too gung ho maybe, but with enough humour and humanity to make it enjoyable. The sequel has much the same cast and director, so I expected something similar, and wasn’t disappointed.

Billionaire genius and superhero Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr - Sherlock Holmes, Tropic Thunder) finds himself the target of the US Government (unhappy that Iron Man is doing what they can’t), competing rich Boy Justin Hammer (Sam Rockwell hamming it up to the extreme – Moon, Frost/Nixon), an upset Russian physicist that becomes Iron Man’s first supervillain (Mickey Rourke looking extra bizarre – The Wrestler, Angel Heart), and SHIELD, represented by Nick Fury (Samuel L Jackson - Snakes On A Plane, Inglourious Basterds) and Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson – The Spirit). Stark is being killed by the very thing that keeps him alive, and he wants to go out with a bang. And he stills secretly loves his assistant, Pepper Pots (Gwyneth Paltrow – Se7en).

The appeal of superhero stories is the human aspect and what goes on in their life. These bits of Iron Man 2 I like, and I lose interest when the CGI fights take place. There are certainly enough jokes and character plot to appease me in Iron Man 2, and probably enough computer game style action to appease the masses. The hints to Captain America and Thor were most welcome too.

Dirty Harry

2010-05-01T13:53:00.000+10:00

44 Inch Chest

2010-04-30T13:50:00.000+10:00

Wacky Races

2010-04-26T13:29:00.006+10:00

Wacky Races was an animated television series produced by Hanna-Barbera Productions. The series featured 11 different cars racing against each other in various road rallies, with each driver hoping to win the title of the "World's Wackiest Racer." Wacky Races ran on CBS from September 14, 1968 to January 4, 1969. Seventeen episodes were produced, with each episode featuring two different races, for a total of 34 races in all.

Now I don't mean to imply that all our readers are the same age as Sebastian, and can remember these things when they first ran ( he can note seeing Halleys comet on at least 3 separate occasions, and the last time he was stopped by a traffic cop and asked for ID, he pulled out a rock )... but surely you've caught it in re-run, or on Cartoon Network. Certainly it has always been a favourite here at DVD Purgatory.

The love of motorsports can start at a young age for many racing fans, and countless enthusiasts owe their obsession to this wondeful cartoon. The 60's-era animated series featured all manner of characters competing wheel to cartoon wheel in the most hilarious automotive concoctions ever rendered on celluloid. But what has remained for decades as the objects of childhood fantasy, now actually exist in real life, and have taken to the streets of Chichester in West Sussex, England, ahead of their annual, real-life racing at the upcoming Goodwood Festival of Speed. All I can say, is "amazing".

Why it's almost enough to make me go all Corey Haim and get my own license to drive... almost.

Criswell

2010-04-25T12:08:00.001+10:00

I don't care what anyone says... any cartoon that can reference Criswell, Space 1999, Back to the Future, and Archie 3000 , is a good cartoon.

Barry McKenzie

2010-04-20T12:12:00.000+10:00

Power Rangers

2010-04-15T12:05:00.000+10:00

It's true... I haven't tried to hide it exactly, but the truth is out there now. My name is mister J, and I am a Power Rangers fan... sob...

Year One (2009)

2010-04-07T10:39:00.003+10:00

Jack Black (Nacho Libre, Tropic Thunder) and Michael Cera (Juno, Arrested Development) are cavemen who leave their tribe and experience various adventures from the Old Testament (Cain and Abel, Sodom and Gomorrah, etc).

As Jack Black comedies go, it’s okay. As genuinely funny movies go, it’s not.

The Final (2010)

2010-04-06T10:38:00.001+10:00

There are a few basic story lines for movies that are recycled again, and again, and again. One is about students who are victimised but eventually retaliate and exact their revenge. Massacre At Central High, Carrie, Revenge Of The Nerds, and Heathers are just a few films to follow this formula.

In The Final, a bunch of outcasts drug the punch at a costume party and then torture and disfigure the beautiful people who have harassed them. “Why are you doing this to me”, asks a jock. That just happens to be the question the nerds, geeks, and abused have asked many times.

The Final is a nice entry in to the series, complete with a well paced script, solid acting, and creative costuming. So many of the teen horror movies that come out now rely on jokes, one liners, and excessive gore. I'm not opposed to that, I just tire of the lack of imagination that goes in to many of them. The Final takes a more serious approach and treats the subject with respect, and that is refreshing.

The Land That Time Forgot (aka Dinosaur Island) (2009)

2010-04-05T15:32:00.006+10:00

C Thomas Howell (The Outsiders, Red Dawn, The Day The Earth Stopped, Mutant Vampire Zombies from the 'Hood!) heads out on a three hour cruise and finds himself shipwrecked in the Bermuda Triangle on an island with dinosaurs (left over from 100 Million BC) and the survivors of a WW2 U-Boat.

The Asylum did an okay job adapting Edgar Rice Burroughs’ Princess Of Mars and I wish they had done a little better here. The film doesn’t so much insult your intelligence as ignore it.

This was previously made in 1975 and starred the effervescent Doug McClure. Strangely, the effects were better then.

Alphabet Killer ( 2009 )

2010-03-30T14:14:00.009+11:00

From 1970 to 1973, three girls in and around Rochester, New York were brutally raped and strangled, their bodies dumped in neighbouring villages. The girls' first and last name started with the same letter, as did the first letter of the respective villages they were dumped in. But having only committed three murders, this whole thing, rather than being yet another serial killer, could just as easily been one big coincidence.

The Alphabet Killer is one of those based on a true-story flicks that shouldn’t have been based on a true story because the actual outcome neutered the entire story. And in fact, by including psychics, fictional characters, and Cary Elwes in it, you might as well have just said "this film is filmed in bollock-o-vision" instead. Writer Tom Malloy developed the script with the help of a homicide investigator who had worked on the original case. The writer noted that he saw the film as a cross between A Beautiful Mind and Zodiac. He would've had to have noted this, as it is certainly not a comparison anyone who actually watched the film would've made.

Detective Megan Paige (Eliza Dusku) finds herself obsessed when a child-rape murder occurs. Her obsession turns into full-blown schizophrenia, and she’s taken off the case, and demoted to a desk-job. When another murder turns up two years later, she is put back on the case and she hopes this time to catch the murderer and finally put her inner demons to rest ( I understand that its some sort of deal now that if you catch a serial killer, you get a schizophrenia get out of hospital free card ).

But perhaps I am making this film sound like a solid detective/serial killer/murder mystery, but Eliza Dushku is no Clarice Starling, and the convoluted story tries too hard to create drama and tension from an unsolved true-event. Like the original investigation, the film meanders, is confused, and lacks any urgency. It also lacks much of any gore or violence, and rises only above a PG-13 rating with a fleeting inclusion of Eliza Dushku's usually well-hidden breasts. The 1 second topless scene in this film ( included here, so you don't have to sit through this thing like I did ), like much of this film, is completely pointless... Likely it was just added because the film is so bloody awful, they were in desperate need to give ANYONE a reason to check them... er... it out.

Overall I could not recommend this film on any level. They say many serial killers continue to commit crimes in order to draw your attention, to be on tv, in the papers... to be noticed. Do yourself a favour and don't fall into the same trap with this film. Look the other way, and forget it ever existed.

Blindness ( 2008 )

2010-03-28T21:47:00.006+11:00

Blindness is a film based on Jose Saramago's award winning novel of the same name.

It is a parable of sorts dealing with both society and its inevitable breakdown, in the wake of a never explained outbreak of a disease of sorts, that leaves anyone infected, blind... as well my inability to really understand what parables are supposed to be. The afflicted are rounded up and imprisoned, left, for all intents and purposes to fend for themselves... and much like Australian politics if the media or the public was removed, chaos soon reigns.

Visually amazing, at times harrowing and beautiful, the film tracks human nature ( not the band ) once all the confines of "society" are removed. Many films have tried similar things in the past, but very few have done it in such a memorable, unique, and eerily beautiful way.

Julianne Moore and the cinematography both shine, sometimes quite literally under the bright white lights to bely the diminishing sight of the characters clouded with this sudden affliction; an expanse of dazzling white, described as though they are "swimming in milk".

Blindness may not always be easy going, and may not give a good view of human nature... but your eyesight could be put to worse uses than checking out this bleak gem.

Transmorphers: Fall Of Man (2009)

2010-03-26T08:45:00.005+11:00

The Asylum make a prequel to their film Transmorphers and, besides the robots in disguise element, keep the plot different from the similarly named Transformers Revenge Of The Fallen that they are clearly and deliberately ripping off.

A series of deaths leads to the revelation that most technology on Earth is based on reverse engineering what was found on an alien spaceship that crashed in Roswell. Innocent machines (eg telephones) start killing people and that heralds an invasion of robots from space. It is up to Bruce Boxleitner (Babylon 5, Chuck, Heroes), his niece’s boyfriend, Shane Van Dyke (who is also the writer), and a female scientist, Jennifer Rubin (Road Kill, Screamers), to save the planet.

Fall Of Man has a cheesy start, thanks mainly to Bruce Boxleitner’s presence, and there is the expected ridiculous dialogue, questionable acting, and appalling effects, but the story never gains momentum. Transmorphers managed to create a sense of urgency and tension (even if it wasn’t much) while the prequel does neither. Certainly not the worse film out there, and it’s much better than Transformers Revenge of The Fallen, but it could have been much more.

Riverworld (2010)

2010-03-25T09:22:00.006+11:00

I thought the 2003 version of Riverworld by the Syfy Channel was a travesty, but their latest interpretation makes the first version look like a work of genius.

The script is a mess, with little to do with the books, the acting is deficient, one dimensional Tahmoh Penikett (Battlestar Galactica, Dollhouse) does not have enough talent for a lead role, and the direction is cringe worthy. The characters of Samuel Clemens and Youseff provide the only glimmer of entertainment. Not even the addition a cute female samurai to the story can save it.

The Dead Outside (2008)

2010-03-24T11:47:00.001+11:00

I didn’t think it was possible to make a virus/zombie film as bad as this. And I certainly didn’t think the British would be the ones to do it. Avoid it like the plague.

Resident Evil Degeneration (aka Biohazard Degeneration) (2008)

2010-03-23T11:32:00.000+11:00

The Resident Evil series continues without Milla Jovovich or, in fact, any people at all.

The T-Virus is unleashed at an airport, but luckily the clean up crew is near by and the contamination is contained, but the story doesn’t stop there. The G-Virus is dispensed to allow for more death and violence.

This animated entry in to the series (more connected to the games than the movies) is okay. The female leads are tough, but the male lead is the weird Japanese interpretation of how a hero looks (ie he doesn’t look like Bruce Willis, he looks more like he is in a pop band). The underlying premise of a government and business conspiracy is decent. My main complaint is the length of time fighting the big monster. That is a little too much like playing the video game.

The Cell 2 (2009)

2010-03-22T11:05:00.003+11:00

I don’t remember much about The Cell (2000). I hope to remember even less about the sequel.

Highwaymen (2004)

2010-03-08T14:06:00.006+11:00

Every so often I find a film that I missed when it was released. This week it was Highwaymen, directed by Robert Harmon who directed The Hitcher, but nothing of any note since. One of the writers, Hans Bauer, did do Anaconda and Anacondas The Hunt for the Blood Orchid, which may or may not be a recommendation.

Jim Caviezel (The Prisoner, Deja Vu) sees his girlfriend deliberately run down by a Cadillac. The film jumps forward 5 years and Caviezel is now cruising the highways in his muscle car looking for the Cadillac and its driver, Colm Feore (The Chronicles Of Riddick, Paycheck). Caviezel comes to the aid of Rhona Mitra (Underworld Rise of the Lycans, Doomsday, Skinwalkers), who also lost someone to the Cadillac and is now a target herself.

Highwayman has a Duel feel to it, as Mitra is stalked by the Cadillac, then it goes Mad Max as Caviezel arrives to play revenge seeking saviour. The film is interesting and dumb at the same time. The story of what happened between Caviezel and Feore in the missing 5 years was clever, but sadly the other parts of the film are not so clever, although the car crashes are nice (the fake people they hit are not so convincing). Mitra, who does so well in action films, spends most of the film as the damsel in distress. The film is okay, thanks to the actors and direction, and a little like a new version of Death Car On The Freeway.

Avatar (2009)

2010-03-01T13:54:00.009+11:00

An evil, interplanetary corporation wants to mine land that is occupied, and considered sacred, by the indigenous race. Big business has the ruthless military on their side, and only the scientists (playing the good guys for a change) have a problem with killing the locals.

Writer / director James Cameron shows the imagination of a 13 year old boy in creating this juvenile, predictable, cliched, and utterly manipulative film. The film starts poorly with a Planet called Pandora (so you know they are going to open a box of trouble there) where they are mining “Unobtainium” which, although being a real word, is perhaps the most ridiculous element in a movie since “flubber”.

Cameron tries to make the natives, Na’vi, likeable, but they end up as annoying and one dimensional as the humans. I kept expecting Sting to turn up and try to save them like he did the occupants of the Amazon rainforest.

I am not sure what we are to think of Sam Worthington’s character, Sully. First he sells out the Na’vi, then forgets he has done that and spends so much time flirting with the local sexpot, Neytiri (Zoe Saldana), that he does nothing to prevent their slaughter. In an effort for redemption, he organizes an assault on the humans which is one of the most appalling pieces of military strategy ever. Not surprisingly, the Na’vi are slaughtered again before the foreseeable retribution arrives.

All the gunplay comes as no surprise for those familiar with Cameron’s work. The violence in Cameron’s first hit, The Terminator, was not excessive because Cameron had a good story which he stole (originally uncredited) from Harlan Ellison. In the sequel ,where he had to rely on his own ideas, he added a lot more fighting. That was how he handled the sequels to Rambo and Alien. Cameron likes to adds lots of shooting in the absence of plot. Avatar follows that formula.

As a friend of mine said, “It’s Dances With Wolves in space”. The 3D imagery is impressive and Michelle Rodriguez (Fast & Furious , The Breed, Resident Evil) is wonderful in the small amount of screen time she is given. Neither is enough reason to watch this overblown embarrassment to science fiction.

An Inconvenient Truth (2006)

2010-02-19T14:47:00.001+11:00

Murder World (aka Pearblossom, Life Blood) (2009)

2010-02-05T11:22:00.006+11:00

Brooke (Sophie Monk – The Hills Run Red, Australian pop group Bardot) and Rhea (Anya Lahiri – The Scar Crow, Eurovision Song Contest) flee a murder scene in 1960’s Hollywood, meet God, are buried in the desert, and are brought back 40 years later to fight evil. Despite their supposed purpose in being reborn, only one of the women is good, the other is bad. They are also a bit lesbian. I don’t think the writer had any idea what to do with a story about arguing, vengeful lesbians killing people, and making out. It’s an uninteresting, illdefined mess.

I can’t believe I didn’t enjoy a movie about supernatural, killer lesbians more. Go watch Lesbian Vampire Killers instead.

Surveillance (2008)

2010-02-04T10:14:00.005+11:00

Bill Pullman (Lake Placid, Independence Day, Lost Highway) and Julia Ormond (First Knight) are FBI agents who turn up at Michael Ironside’s (Terminator Salvation, Hardwired, Scanners) Sante Fe police station to investigate a recent highway bloodbath. There are three survivors of the incident, Kent Harper as a dodgy local cop, Pell James (Fanboys) as a skanky crack whore, and 8 year old Ryan Simpkins, each with their own version of what happened.

Jennifer Lynch (daughter of David) writes and directs her second movie, and shows the artistic flair of her father, but without the overwhelming and convoluted weirdness. Lynch takes the often used scenario of conflicting stories and makes it her own with unusual and well defined characters, surprise twists, clever dialogue, and black humour.

The Hills Run Red (2009)

2010-02-03T13:40:00.008+11:00

Tyler (Tad Hilgenbrink – Lost Boys The Tribe) is a film student who wants to find out the true story of the lost horror movie The Hills Run Red and it’s missing director, Wilson Wyler Concannon (William Sadler – Die Hard 2, Bordello Of Blood)). Tyler finds the daughter of the director, Alexa (Sophie Monk - Date Movie, Popstars), who is now a stripper. The film student, the stripper, the best friend (Alex Wyndham), and the hotter than Sophie Monk girlfriend (Janet Montgomery) go in search of the director. They find more than they bargain for when the killer from the movie turns out to be real.

I’m sure the film is meant to be clever and insightful and play with the formula for horror/splatter films, as is the norm these days, but The Hills Run Red is just as cliched and predictable as the films it references. It comes complete with an obvious surprise ending (or two). Sophie Monk takes her top off a lot which may provide some consolation to viewers.

Fanboys (2009)

2010-02-02T09:33:00.015+11:00

It’s 1998 and five somewhat geeky friends, Sam Huntington (Detroit Rock City),Chris Marquette (Infestation), Dan Fogler (Balls Of Fury), Jay Baruchel (Tropic Thunder), and Kristen Bell (Forgetting Sarah Marshall) meet up at a Halloween party. Events lead to the four boys heading out on a road trip to George Lucas’ ranch to watch Star Wars Episode 1 The Phantom Menace before it is released.

The movie starts promising but sadly follows standard road trip cliches, which means there is a drug experience, an arrest, romance, and too much self-realisation and male bonding. That rapid deterioration into predictability is a shame, because the Star Wars jokes, the fights with Star Trek fans, and the sexy Kristen Bell are a lot of fun.

Despite the disappointment of Fanboys being so formulaic, there is still enjoyment in the all the cameo appearances, including Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams, Seth Rogen (Pineapple Express), Jason Mewes (The Tripper, Bitten), Kevin Smith (Southland Tales, Daredevil) , Jaime King, (The Tripper, My Bloody Valentine 3D, The Spirit), Ray Park (GI Joe the Rise Of Cobra), Danny Trejo (Urban Justice, Alone In The Dark 2, Halloween), and, the best of all, William Shatner.

The scene that saves the movie is right at the end, when Kristen Bell appears in the Princess Leia slave girl costume. It is one of cinema’s greatest moments, and follows on from a long line of similar appearances of the costume by celebrities, wannabe celebrities, and cute SF fans.

Hardwired (2009)

2010-02-01T14:28:00.007+11:00

In the near future, where corporations run the world (just like in Rollerball), Cuba Gooding Jr (The Devil’s Tomb, Outbreak) wakes from a car accident to find his wife dead, that he has a spider like computer chip in his head, and he has no memory of his past. It’s all part of a nefarious plot instigated by Val Kilmer (Red Planet, Willow) and Hope Industries. Things look dire for Cuba until a very spunky Tatiana Maslany (Diary Of The Dead, Ginger Snaps Unleashed), Juan Riedinger (The Day The Earth Stood Still, Blood Ties), Chad Krowchuk (Snakehead Terror), and Michael Ironside (Terminator Salvation, Surveillance, Total Recall, Scanners) turn up to help him.

Hardwired is a disappointingly predictable cyber thriller. And I use the term thriller lightly. Kilmer and Ironside look like they want the paycheck to keep them in donuts. Cuba tries hard to bring some class to the production, but is outwitted at every turn by the unimaginative script. It’s still worth watching to see Ironside (who has made so many good films) play a nice guy and the cute Maslany all punked up.

Bronson (2009)

2010-01-29T14:49:00.008+11:00

I don’t watch a lot of serious films, but I was interested in this biopic of Britain’s most violent inmate. Michael Peterson wanted to make a name for himself, but didn’t know how, until he was sent to prison and decided the lifestyle suited him. He has since spent most of his life being moved from prison to prison, causing trouble, and writing books. Charles Bronson was the tough sounding name that Peterson adopted during his bareknuckle fighting days.

The film is almost a one man play with Tom Hardy (RocknRolla, Star Trek Nemesis), as Bronson, dominating the screen in every scene. It’s a great role for an actor as Hardy is given plenty of screen time and plenty of chances to explore his range. Hardy tackles it with gusto and he is matched by inventive production. The appeal of the story may be limited, but Hardy rocks.

Ramsay

2010-01-28T15:09:00.002+11:00

Sherlock Holmes (2009)

2010-01-27T14:40:00.006+11:00

Guy Ritchie (Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels) gives Arthur Conan Doyle’s detective a makeover to make him more appealing to the new millennium and, in some ways, return him to his origin.

Robert Downey Jr (Iron Man, Tropic Thunder) is Holmes and he is intelligent, physical, bohemian, and more than a little eccentric. Jude Law (Gattaca, eXistenZ) is his trusted companion, Dr Watson, and Rachel McAdams (Red Eye, Mean Girls) is the object of Holmes’ desire, Irene Adler, and she is more than a match for him in several departments. Mark Strong (Babylon AD, Stardust).
is Lord Blackwood, the scoundrel of the piece, with Professor Moriarty no doubt being saved for future films. There are fights and ludicrous villainy as Downey, and his fake English accent, clashes with the bad guy, the girl, a secret society, and the police.

It’s good to see the Holmes legend reinvigorated, I only wish it had more good lines, a shorter running time, less obvious plotting, and less CGI. A good fight/action scene does not need superfluous effects added to it. It’s another movie where a little more creative individuality and a little less catering to popular taste would have meant a much better product. I thought Ritchie would know better, but maybe having an American producer, Joel Silver (Speed Racer, The Invasion, V For Vendetta), was detrimental.

Princess Of Mars (2009)

2010-01-26T10:44:00.002+11:00

It’s taken a long time for Edgar Rice Burroughs’ classic SF adventure tale to make it to the screen, and The Asylum make it there first (albeit unofficially) with their updated interpretation.

Antonio Sabato Jr (Destination Infestation, The Bold And The Beautiful) plays John Carter, a soldier who finds himself on Mars dealing with humanoids, including Traci Lords (Blade, New Wave Hookers) as the Princess of Mars herself, Dejah Thoris, and non-humanoids, including Matt Lasky (Doomsday, InAlienable) as Tars Tarkas. Carter, is captured, interrogated, escapes, fights, and generally kicks Martian butt. Burroughs story has been the inspiration for many other stories over the nearly 100 years since it first appeared, including Conan and Star Wars. You can see elements of both of those in this production, and maybe even a little of Avatar.

I can’t legitimately say Princess Of Mars is great, or even good, but how can you not like the idea and the audacity for making it? It’s lowbrow fun, and it has Traci Lords. It just needed more action.

Modern Movement

2010-01-25T14:27:00.005+11:00

Modern Movement is a website for “entertainment and popular culture in review”. It started life as a print publication in Brisbane in nineties, and Mister J and I used to write for it then. We even stayed with it when it went online, but then we disappeared from its glittering pages. Now we are back. According to the website, Mister J is back by popular demand. I’m back because they don’t know any better and I will often watch the movies that noone else will touch.

Please visit them, and us, at www.modmove.com.

New Zealand's Next Top Model

2010-01-22T13:10:00.000+11:00

Blade The Complete Series DVD (2006)

2010-01-21T15:58:00.013+11:00

Vampires are all the rage at present, but it is a shame that the better shows about them fail, while the less interesting ones thrive. True Blood is the subject of much adulation, although it is little more than Bold and the Beautiful in a swamp. Vampire Diaries seems to have attracted some love as well, but its characters are less scary than the cast of Beverly Hills 90210 before makeup. The Twilight movies have captivated a generation of twi-hards, but the stories show less imagination than the Teletubbies. Blade lasted a measly 13 episodes and, like other interesting vampire shows (eg Being Human and Blood Ties), is mostly ignored.

Blade is a spin-off from the Blade movies (which was a spin off from the comic), with Kirk "Sticky Fingaz" Jones (The Shield) taking over the Wesley Snipes role as the title character. Jones brings a pouting, muscular seriousness to the role and his demeanor is sometimes the object of ridicule for his sidekick, Shen (Nelson Lee – Ring Of Death).

Blade is a daywalker (half human, half vampire) on the same mission as the movie Blade, kill bloodsuckers. The series creates a vampire hierarchy of true blood and turned blood vampires, including Blade’s ally, the newly turned, spunky Krista (Jill Wagner – Wipeout, Stargate Atlantis), the ambitious and evil Marcus (Neil Jackson – Quantum Of Solace, Push) and Marcus’ bitchy assistant/lover/henchwoman, Chase (Jessica Gower – Blurred).

The first couple of episodes (ie the pilot) are a little slow but, once the characters are established, it’s a well scripted, well acted, well paced show loaded with intrigue and surprises and action. My favourite aspects of the show were the moral ambiguity of the characters and Blade’s increasing use of violence. In the later episodes, Blade rips off someone’s jaw and pops out someone’s eye. Great stuff for prime time television.

It’s a pity Blade never lasted more than a season. I still hope they bring him back, maybe in a crossover with some of the weaker vampire shows. Until then, we can still watch Wipeout for a dose of Jill.

Jesse Ventura hosts WWE RAW

2010-01-20T10:12:00.013+11:00

World Wrestling Entertainment is currently handing over the reigns of its number one show, RAW, to a array of guest hosts, including Jesse “The Body” Ventura.

Ventura may be the ultimate renaissance man. He came to public attention as “The Body” in his days as a professional wrestler, but he has also been a Navy SEAL, biker, wrestling commentator, actor (Predator, Running Man, Abraxas), writer, politician , tv host, radio broadcaster, social commentator, husband, father, and whatever else I have forgotten. But, amongst all those accomplishments, he will be best known for his outrageous fashion sense and collection of feather boas.

Cthulhu (2007)

2010-01-19T11:17:00.002+11:00

I did an interview for Fiend magazine with the writer/director, Dan Gildark, of this movie and it left me with high expectations. Gildark was articulate and sold Lovecraftian aspects of the film well. How depressing it was to finally see Cthulhu. It was an exercise in tedium. How could Gildark take something as good as HP Lovecraft and make something so mind numbingly weak. It is painful to watch it. The scariest thing in the movie is the thought of Tori Spelling wanting to sleep with someone. That is the stuff of nightmares.

Hunting Grounds (2008)

2010-01-18T11:44:00.005+11:00

In the future, humanity lives in walled enclosures and uses virtual reality to escape the city. A group of Canadians decide to sneak out and go hunting in the wilderness, not expecting that a government experiment will result in zombies spoiling their fun.

The movie is awful, but there are always things I enjoy in low budget films. I like seeing the uniforms they create for the military, the “futuristic” weaponry, the scientific devices, the dodgy effects, and I like watching the background actors who really do have no idea what to do on camera. I could write pages on how bad the movie is, but some friends of mine have already done that, concisely and eloquently, when the emailed me after viewing…

Artist and Provocateur Will Coles
It doesn't seem to use actors. Or a script. Or decent camera equipment. Or possibly a director.

Wrestling journalist Dann Lennard
Looks like it was made by the guy who did the FX on Double The Fist. Okay for a low-budget TV comedy, but for a supposed feature film...oh dear. Part zombie flick + part The Condemned + part indecipherable French-Canadian accents = total shit.

Jason Vorhees?

2010-01-15T14:58:00.000+11:00

Sand Serpents (2009)

2010-01-14T10:43:00.006+11:00

The SyFy channel continue their run on monster movies (Croc, Eye Of The Beast, The Hive, Black Swarm, Hydra, etc) with their take on the War On Terror as Black Hawk Down meets Tremors.

A squad of American soldiers in Afghanistan not only have to fight the local militia, but also giant worms. It sounds like it should be a guns blazing all action affair, but it is dull and bogged down with clichés and bad acting. The worst giant sand worm movie since Dune.

Surfing The Menu

2010-01-13T15:08:00.000+11:00

Fast & Furious (aka The Fast And The Furious 4) (2009)

2010-01-12T14:50:00.003+11:00

Vin Diesel (Babylon AD, Pitch Black) and Paul Walker (the underrated Running Scared, Timeline) are back, racing cars and fighting bad guys. It’s not completely bad, just bland. Too much CGI, not enough of the spunky Michelle Rodriguez (The Breed, Resident Evil).

Surrogates (2009)

2010-01-11T11:25:00.006+11:00

Bruce Willis (Die Hard 4, The Fifth Element, 13 Monkeys) returns to the science fiction genre with this adaptation of a comic book that owes more than a little in style to Bladerunner (and some other SF films).

In the nearish future, people have no need to leave their houses and live their lives through robots they control remotely. The surrogates are better looking, more durable, and can be used and abused without complaint or any physical effect on the person controlling them. That is until people start dieing when their surrogate dies.

Bruce is the FBI agent investigating the deaths with his partner, Rhada Mitchell (Rogue, Pitch Black). Their enquiries lead through a tangled web involving an anti-surrogate campaigner, Ving Rhames (The Tournament, Day Of The Dead), and the creator for the surrogates, James Cromwell (I Robot, W, Spiderman 3, Revenge Of The Nerds). The social and moral issues of people living vicariously through robots provides a background for the story, but more through inference than being a crucial narrative.

Noone does the melancholy cop as good as Bruce and, if you can handle the derivative nature of the story and its implausibilities, he does it well again here.

The Taking Of Pelham 123 (2009)

2010-01-08T11:41:00.011+11:00

I like a good thriller. I do not like weakly scripted, poorly directed remakes, like The Taking Of Pelham 123 . Denzel Washington does his “everyman” character and John Travolta does his “mad criminal” character (which are the only characters these two actors have) in a story with no surprises and no excitement.

The best part of the whole film was the premiere where Bai Ling (Gene Generation, Crank High Voltage, Southland Tales), who wasn’t in the movie, looked pretty in pink and Chad Rogers, who was in the film, had a cute date.

Dolan’s Cadillac (2009)

2010-01-07T10:58:00.004+11:00

Wes Bentley’s (Ghost Rider) wife, Emmanuelle Vaugier (Painkiller Jane), witnesses a murder as part of Christian Slater’s (Slipstream, Alone In The Dark) people trafficking operation. She is killed and Wes sets about arranging a very elaborate revenge.

This is yet another Stephen King story and focuses more on suspense and then terror rather than horror. Bentley pulls off his plan with 30 minutes of the movie to go, and the remainder of the film is spent in conversation between Bentley and Slater. The build up is interesting, the banter between the two stars is entertaining, and Slater has great time being bad. Dolan’s Cadillac, although not exceptional, is much better than many more convoluted and high profile revenge thrillers. It’s also nice having a story of vengeance that is about clever planning, not just violence (eg Stiletto).

The Tournament (2009)

2010-01-06T13:55:00.011+11:00

Every 7 years the greatest assassins on the planet come together in a competition where the winner walks away with a pile of cash. It’s unlikely the best assassins would risk their lives in such a pursuit, or that killers could so blatantly run around a city causing such destruction, but it’s best to ignore these negative thoughts. The Tournament is a variation on the last person standing movies like Enter the Dragon, but it has guns. Lots of guns.

The competition is orchestrated by Liam Cunningham (Blood The Last Vampire, Dog Soldiers) and the entrants include…

Ving Rhames (Day Of The Dead, The People Under The Stairs)

Kelly Hu (Stiletto, The Scorpion King)

Sebastien Foucan (the founder of Parkour with David Belle)

Scott Adkins (The Shepherd Border Patrol, X-Men Origins Wolverine)

Ian Somerhalder (Lost, Vampire Diaries)

...and a reluctant Robert Carlyle (28 Weeks Later, The World Is Not Enough).

Middlesborough, England is the scene for the battle and the town is shot up, buildings are destroyed, cars explode, and innocents are butchered as killers kill and the rich bet on the outcome.

There is a subplot involving previous winner Rhames and why he is back but that, thankfully, doesn’t hinder the action and violence. Rhames is a great heavy. Kelly gets to unleash her martial arts skills more than usual, and that is a good. Foucan is a very smooth mover as leaps from building to building. And Adkins is a wonderful, wonderful fighter. As hitman movies go, it’s up there with Shoot Em Up as a great example, unlike the awful Wanted.

Like a Tiger...

2010-01-05T15:11:00.001+11:00

Sometimes we do follow the news, even if it is only when celebrities embarrass themselves. Is Tiger Woods going to become the new Hugh Grant? (Without the good hair of course.)

2012 (2009)

2010-01-04T11:14:00.001+11:00

From the desk of Mister J…

I finally saw 2012 last night and, honestly, it wasn't as awful as I thought it would be. I mean, certainly it’s an effects film and, sure, those effects are over the top...but isn't that what we want from an end of the world disaster film?? I certainly don't want to imply it was good though, that would be pushing it.

Gamer (2009)

2010-01-01T09:50:00.007+11:00

Michael C Hall (Dexter) goes all Bill Gates creating software the world can’t live without. First it is Society, where actors rent out their bodies to be manipulated by other people in a freakier version of Second Life.

Then there is Slayers, where prisoners on death row are controlled by players at home and sent in to a war zone / First Person Shooter to kill or be killed.

If the convicts survive 30 encounters, they are given their freedom. Does that sound similar to Running Man?

Kable (Gerard Butler from 300, Watchmen Tales of The Black Freighter) is the star of the game and is nearing 30 matches, but he escapes to rescue his wife (Amber Valetta from Transporter 2 and magazine covers everywhere) and prove his innocence. Does it sound like Running Man now?

The writers/directors (Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor) made Crank High Voltage and must have used up all their clever ideas in that, because this is just Running Man in new packaging and little else. Another waste of a good cast. Look our for video game references and a cameo from the guys from Psych.

Fabulous Sebastian’s Top 5 of 2009

2009-12-31T15:10:00.020+11:00

Better Off Ted - A crazy, rapid fire sitcom that explores American big business practices at the fictional Veridian Dynamics. Do you want to turn a pumpkin into a Weapon of Mass Destruction? Veridian can do that. Portia De Rossi follows up her wonderful work on Arrested Development with another extreme character.

Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus - A film that is more than a catchy title. A prehistoric shark and octopus are unfrozen and have to battle not just each other, but eighties pop sensation Debbie Gibson and hunky Lorenzo Lamas. Lamas steals the movie (from a shark that attacks airplanes) with his deadpan delivery (and dangerous ponytail).

Star Trek - The Star Trek franchise has been even a hit and miss affair. JJ Abrams makes it work because he knows the secret ingredient for success - James T Kirk. Chris Pine channels William Shatner to bring the swagger back to science fiction.

No Heroics - The British make a super hero series that may be the complete opposite to Heroes. In the best British tradition, the heroes rarely leave the pub. Their superpowers are sometimes questionable, like their motives.

Tokyo Gore Police - The title does not fully prepare you for the violence, body modifications, and twisted sexuality of this Japanese movie.

Mister J's Top 5 of 2009

2009-12-30T11:43:00.012+11:00

Well, another year is almost over... so without further ado, here's my top 5 for the year...

5. Dead Snow - Sam Raimi meets sensible Scandinavian knitwear. Subtitles for the "arty" crowd, and Nazi zombies fighting guys with chainsaws and axes for the less discerning amongst us. Remember, If you are in the mountains of Norway and you find a box of WW2 German trinkets and gold, don't touch them, otherwise zombie Nazis will hunt you down and kill you.

4. Movies on the Sci-Fi Channel - They all are so wonderful, it's hard to pick a favourite, but I'd imagine Aztec Rex ( which stars Steve Sanders from Beverley Hills 90210 as the Spanish explorer Cortez arriving in Mexico to find the locals worshiping a t-rex from their badly designed 3 foot-tall concrete altars ) is going to be hard to top.

3. New Zealand's Next Top Model - It may be the accents ( and the "butchinuss" ), it may be the low budgets ( I think African nations have Top Model shows with higher budgets ), it may be the hosts ( who appear the only people in the NZ fashion world who actually do NO work )... but watching these girls, fresh off the farm, mangling vowels, and bitching about their jandals fast became this years guilty pleasure.

2. Hulk Hogan's press conference - The press conference for Hulk Hogan's Australian tour was a thing of media manipulation and beauty. Hogan and his adversary face off, with Ric Flair belittling and bloodying the elephantine Hogan. The media goes into a frenzy covering it, giving it much time and space, as they try to wittily doubt its believability. Unfortunately, Hogan himself dampens the mood for us all by later saying that he hadn't meant to fall off the stage, and how much that hurt... condemning all of us who had the tickets to the show, with the knowledge, he wasn't leaving his feet again ( even for a crap ) for the remainder of his stay in the country.

1. Amy Winehouse and her breast augmentation - There are many things in this world Amy Winehouse did not need more of this year... alcohol, drugs, hair, controversy... boobs... but, like the trooper she is, in 2009, the divine Miss W decided to have more of all of these things anyway. Don't you just love her??

Silent Night, Deadly Night

2009-12-25T14:53:00.001+11:00

Merry Xmas to you all, from DVD Purgatory.

Edges Of Darkness (2009)

2009-12-24T15:25:00.005+11:00

The cover of this DVD is very inviting, in a Tomb Raider meets Resident Evil kind of way. Who doesn’t like a grrl with a gun? Especially if they are killing zombies. Wasn’t that the entire basis of Sarah Palin’s presidential campaign? (The gun part, not the zombie part)

The movie itself involves an America overrun with zombies and follows the lives of some of the survivors. As if the zombie menace isn’t enough, there are also vampires, a parasitic machine vine, the Antichrist, and the priests trying to stop the impending apocalypse. With all those stories going on, it’s a shame none of them are interesting.

Dying Breed (2008)

2009-12-21T15:58:00.007+11:00

A woman takes some friends on an expedition (including Leigh Whannell, from Saw) to the secluded forests of Tasmania to find the extinct Tasmanian Tiger and her missing sister. What the group finds are cannibal hillbillies descended from an escape convict.

I said it with Rogue and I say it again, it’s great that Australia is making horror films, but they don’t need to be as slow and unimaginative as this. We’ve seen this scenario a hundred times and it would be hard to find a version duller than Dying Breed, although Welcome To The Jungle is a contender.

Ultraman

2009-12-10T12:21:00.000+11:00

The Prisoner Miniseries (2009)

2009-12-04T16:47:00.005+11:00

The competition for worst remake (sorry, re-imagining) continues with a new front runner. The 1960’s Prisoner was an innovative, surreal, philosophical, and influential series about a man (Patrick McGoohan) who finds himself in The Village. The series was about many things including, possibly, the fight of the individual against conformity, or maybe it was all about an internal struggle. It doesn’t matter, part of the timeless appeal of the original series is its esoteric nature.

The new version once again throws a man (James Caviezel) in a mysterious village where everyone has a number rather than a name, but this time it is not the model of obedience and submission of the original, but a place where everyone seems unhappy. In the original, The Prisoner was the only rebel, in the new version, all are potential rebels. In fact, all the elements that made the original so unique and challenging and inspiring are gone. What is left is muddled story of a man who doesn’t know why he is where he is. Not even Ian McKellen can save it. It makes me want to track down The Nowhere Man and rewatch it.

Bangkok Dangerous (2008)

2009-12-02T15:21:00.002+11:00

Nicolas Cage (Knowing, Ghost Rider) continues to make bad movies. Are American actors so desperate to go to Thailand on a paid holiday they will make anything that is offered to them? Michael Madsen (Hell Ride, Tooth And Nail) did it for Croc, but is Cage really that desperate for money? The movie is a remake of the 1999 Thai movie by the same directors (Pang Brothers) and ends up as by-the-numbers story of an assassin who decides he doesn’t want to do the job he is paid to do. Cage’s dodgy hair has more life than the script. Obligatory Thai dance bar included.

District 13 (aka Banlieue 13) (2004)

2009-12-01T14:34:00.006+11:00

Jean Luc Besson has given us The Fifth Element, Leon (The Professional), La Femme Nikita, Taken, and The Transporter, discovering he wrote this French movie made it essential viewing.

In the near future, Paris is divided from social decay and District 13 is a walled off slum full of drugs and gangs. A missing bomb means the government has to send in one of its officers, Cyril Raffaelli, into the area to recover it. Inside a gang has kidnapped the sister of David Belle, and he has to return their missing drugs in exchange for his sister’s life.

The story is derivative and the characters cliched but, in the tradition of many good action films with the same problem (eg Ong Bak), the physical talent of the actors and cinematography compensates. Rafaelli is brimming with martial arts skills and Belle is one of the originators of Parkour (and he is a super smooth mover). Put the two of them together with a bunch of seedy gangsters with guns, some social commentary, and a secret government agenda, and the film moves along quite nicely.

Inglourious Basterds (2009)

2009-11-27T15:07:00.000+11:00

Quentin Tarentino gives us his take on World War 2. This includes Brad Pitt leading the Basterds (a group of soldiers who lurk around France scarring, killing, and scalping Nazis), Christoph Waltz as the Jew Hunter (a German with a talent for finding Jews), and Mélanie Laurent as a Jew on the run (and hiding in plain sight). The characters come together as plots to kill Hitler unfold.

Inglourious Basterds has a good plot, good characters, and a good ending, but it suffers from Tarentino’s usual problem, his dialogue. The script is full of conversations that are long and not as clever as Tarentino thinks. Basterds is a very long two and half hours, rather than the punchy one and a half hours it should be.

V

2009-11-20T12:23:00.000+11:00

Crank High Voltage (aka Crank 2) (2009)

2009-11-16T15:13:00.013+11:00

If you thought Jason Statham (Transporter 3, Death Race, The Bank Job) died at the end of Crank when he was dropped from that helicopter, you were wrong. He is back, but someone has stolen his heart and Statham has to find it before his artificial heart stops working.

The velocity and insanity of Crank is pumped up even higher in the sequel as Statham careens around the city leaving destruction in his path. Not only is he looking for his missing organ, he also has to find innovative and ridiculous ways to kickstart his artificial heart.

This film cannot be taken seriously, and that is the attitude you need in watching it. What is there not to love about a movie that has...

The wild and wonderful Bai Ling (Gene Generation, Southland Tales) as a prostitute

Amy Smart (Crank, Starship Troopers) as a stripper

David Carradine (Death Race 2000, Hell Ride, Homo Erectus, Kung Fu Killer) as a Chinese crime boss

Ron Jeremy (The Pink Lagoon: A Sex Romp in Paradise) and Jenna Haze (Fast Times at Deep Crack High 4) as protesting porn stars

...and Corey Haim (The Lost Boys) looking like a bigger loser than ever?!

Battlestar Galactica The Plan (2009)

2009-11-12T14:09:00.005+11:00

The four seasons of Battlestar Galactica focused heavily on the humans and how they coped with the war against the Cylons, especially in the early episodes. The Plan takes us back to look at the events before and shortly after the Cylon attack, mostly from the perspective of Cylon One (Dean Stockwell), with a reasonable focus on Six (Trisha Helfer), and some insight into the Cylon models onboard the Galactica.

The Plan is the second post-BG production (following Caprica) and combines new footage with scenes we have seen before to give them more context, and some twists. It fills in some gaps in the story, but also raises some questions of Cylon motives. There were characters we thought didn’t know they were Cylons, but maybe they did, and maybe they were scheming from the start.

Edward James Olmos (star and director) said, "When Battlestar fans see The Plan, they’re all going to have to go back and watch the entire series again." That’s an ambitious statement. The Plan certainly does raise questions and create a new perspective on what happened in the series but, at other times, it seems like a forced effort to create surprise and confusion to milk the story. If you are a fan, you might enjoy the new insight into the characters but, unlike the series, it is not compelling viewing. This picture of two Cyclons is…

Zombieland (2009)

2009-11-10T10:54:00.000+11:00

The Americans do 28 Days Later as a road trip and, as you would expect, it’s not as good as the original (or even other zombie movies).

A virus has decimated America turning people into rampaging Zombies. Jesse Eisenberg (Cursed) has survived, thanks to a few basic rules of his own invention, and he is making his way across the country looking for his parents. Along the way he hooks up with Woody Harrelson (Natural Born Killers), Emma Stone (The House Bunny, The Rocker), and Abigail Breslin (Signs).

Zombieland starts promisingly with Eisenberg’s amusing narration, the manic zombie killing of Harrelson, and the con artistry of the two girls. When the four survivors reach Hollywood, the film slows down to the point of redundancy and not even the video game style slaughter at the end can bring the film back from the realms of boredom. An awkward cameo by Bill Murray does little to raise the interest level.

The Unborn (2009)

2009-11-04T15:33:00.017+11:00

Odette Yustman (Cloverfield, Transformers) is having visions of an evil looking child and the message “Jumby wants to be born now”. Our tortured heroine goes looking for answers and her grandmother tells her of a Jewish legend and of the nefarious Nazis and their experiments on twins. Odette then seeks the help of Gary Oldman (The Dark Knight, The Fifth Element) who is a rabbi with a horn for exorcism.

Jewish folklore and Nazi experimentation deserve better than this unimaginative, unexciting, illogical expedition in to the supernatural. The only positive is the hotness of Odette, and the filmmakers must realise this because they keep showing her in her underwear in an attempt to distract us from the banality of the film. It’s not enough.

Moon (2009)

2009-11-03T13:36:00.001+11:00

Sam (Sam Rockwell from the Hitchhiker’s Guide to The Galaxy, Galaxy Quest) plays an astronaut nearing the end of his three year mission on the moon. Sam’s only company while there is the computer GERTY (Kevin Spacey from Superman Returns, K-PAX), a less malevolent, not so omnipresent version of HAL from 2001 A Space Odyssey. Sam’s assignment is tedious and he has no live contact with Earth, only recorded messages. While on a repair mission outside the base, Sam crashes his moon vehicle and it looks like the end of him, but then he wakes up back in the base. Sam soon realises that is situation is not what he thought.

If you have read, or watched a lot of science fiction, the movie will hold no surprises, but it is a well made, well paced, piece of cinema. Rockwell virtually does a one man show with a character reminiscent of Bruce Dern’s in Silent Running. There were a few plot holes in the story, but that doesn’t prevent Moon being a more believable piece of science fiction than most other recent efforts.

War Wolves (2009)

2009-11-02T14:30:00.002+11:00

A group of American soldiers arrive home from the Middle East infected with the werewolf virus and are hunted down by John Saxon and Tim Thomerson.

Werewolf soldiers, she-wolves, Saxon, and Thomerson should be a winning combination. I love that the Syfy channel makes these movies, but I wish they would put a little more effort in to the story. This is a terrible film that seems to have no idea where it is going or how to get there, and the werewolves look like extras from Cats. Your time is much better spent watching Dead And Deader or Dog Soldiers.

Blacula

2009-10-16T10:46:00.006+11:00

Blacula is a 1972 blaxploitation horror film produced for American International Pictures. It was directed by William Crain and stars William Marshall in the title role.

It's plot is simple. In 1780, Prince Mamuwalde (Marshall), the ruler of an African nation, seeks the help of Count Dracula (Charles Macaulay) in suppressing the slave trade. Dracula, who along with his other evils, is revealed here as a racist, not only refuses to help but also transforms Mamuwalde into a vampire ( denigrating him with the name "Blacula" into the bargain, the cad ) and imprisons him in a sealed coffin to suffer the un-ending thirst of the damned. Mamuwalde's wife Luva (McGee) is also imprisoned but, not being a vampire, dies in captivity. Almost two centuries later, in 1972, the coffin has been purchased as part of an estate by two gay interior decorators, and shipped to Los Angeles. The men open the coffin, becoming the vampire's first victims and starting the ball rolling, cinematically speaking.

The film was not reviewed by most mainstream critics of the time, but those that did were typically unfavorable toward the film. Despite this, the film has a strong cult following, and Marshall's performance in the lead has been widely praised. It was a financial success when it was originally released, and was immediately followed by a sequel, Scream Blacula Scream (1973), in which the vampire is made corporeal again by a Voodoo practitioner played by Pam Grier. Voodoo? Pam Grier?? Blacula??? Yes, this is as good as it sounds.

The success of the film also inspired the making of several other blaxploitation/horror crossovers in the mid-seventies, including Abby, Blackenstein, Dr. Black and Mr. Hyde, Ganja and Hess, The House on Skull Mountain, J. D.'s Revenge and Sugar Hill, although none of these films were as successful commercially as Blacula. Rumors circulated that Brides of Blacula and Son of Blacula were to have been made as well. But it was not to be.

Not only a look back into the kitschy 70's. These films remain enjoyable, and surprisingly well acted, with especially good performances from Marshall who at times is working with far from the best material. Even with the script sometimes letting him down, he is picture perfect as the lonely and sympathetic Mamuwalde. The plot might not break too many horror conventions, but then again, it doesn't have to. These films are well worth the hunt.

As one character says during the film, "Hey, man... that's a baaad cape!"

Blood The Last Vampire (2009)

2009-10-14T13:25:00.004+11:00

Could it be that I have seen too many Japanese movies about a girl with a sword killing people. I liked Onechanbara, Zombie Self Defense Force, and quite a few others, but the this live action remake of the previous animated film bored me. The lead character, Saya, is like Marvel Comics’ character Blade, a half-human half-vampire who kills blood suckers, but she does it in a school uniform with only a sword. It’s all very dull with unoriginal fight scenes and unconvincing CGI.

It probably doesn’t help that too many non-Japanese people were involved in the production.

Whip It (2009)

2009-10-08T12:15:00.002+11:00

Roller Derby is back and growing in popularity, so it was inevitable that someone would make a movie about it. Better that it is Drew Barrymore (in her directorial debut) rather than Disney looking to replicate the “success” of the Mighty Ducks. Roller Derby peaked in the middle of the 20th century before almost disappearing in the seventies. The glamorous, high profile, full contact women’s sport has been reborn (on basketball courts and in warehouses) with less hype, but a lot more soul, fashion sense, and DIY ethic. The new sport wears the old school quad skates and often appeals to girls who have no interest in more traditional sport. Whip It is based on the semi-autobiographical novel of just such a girl, Shauna Cross (aka Maggie Mayhem of the Los Angeles Derby Dolls.

Ellen Page (Juno) has had enough of her parents demands that she enter beauty pageants and finds a sport that lets her express her real self, roller derby. Page’s new identity as Babe Ruthless is wonderful for her until she falls out with her parents and best friend, and then her new romance goes sour. But, in typical Hollywood style, all things are better by the film’s end. It is disappointing that the movie is so cliched, with very little variation on the standard teen sports/coming of age movie. Why isn’t it okay to make a movie about a girl finding pastime she likes and becoming empowered without everyone being against her for doing so? Page is great and the scenes involving the derby girls (Juliette Lewis, Drew Barrymore, Zoe bell, etc) are good, but the rest of the film is mediocre and formulaic. The real derby is much more exciting.

Ellen Page does derby...

As does Raquel Welch in Kansas City Bomber in 1972...

And the Sydney Roller Derby League in a promotional bout at Sleaze Ball 2009...

The Machine Girl (2008)

2009-10-05T11:40:00.008+11:00

Japanese schoolgirl Ami is upset when the Yakuza kill her brother and chop off her arm.

Revenge is quick in coming when Ami meets a couple that are keen to help her…
“It must be pretty tough to fight with just one arm. Don’t worry, I can design you a new one. One made of steel”, says the husband who makes her a prosthetic machine gun arm.

Does her plan to exact revenge on the Yakuza upset this couple? Apparently not, as the wife justifies the upcoming violence, “If you can think of a good way of getting revenge without killing people that desperately deserve it, let me know”.
“Okay, let’s kill, kill them all”, replies our heroine with perhaps a little more glee than is healthy.

As the story unwinds or, more accurately, unhinges we experience Ninjas in tracksuits, a yakuza that looks like a giant garden gnome, ‘Super power bullets’, a drill bra, Japanese fetishes (school uniforms, white panties, and faux lesbianism), and a lot of dismemberment and spurting blood. A LOT of dismemberment and spurting blood. The English dubbing helps to make it even more entertaining.

This may be the greatest Japanese movie ever.

Caprica pilot (2009)

2009-10-02T10:59:00.001+10:00

The wonderful Battlestar Galactica finished on a low with a dull, drawn out finale, but that doesn’t mean the show is dead. In the tradition of other science fiction shows (eg Babylon 5), it continues to live in one form or another. The first continuance is the series Caprica.

Caprica is set 58 years before Battlestar Galactica and the attack on the human colonies by the robotic Cylons. Caprica is a planet living in luxury and excess, much like ancient Rome, but with virtual reality and better sanitation. It’s a world of technological marvels, religious fanaticism, political rivalries, family squabbling, and all the other usual ingredients for a prime time soap opera. Eric Stoltz is Daniel Graystone and he is on the verge of creating Cylon technology. Esai Morales is Joseph Adama, father of William Adama (commander of Battlestar Galactica) and a political mover and shaker. These two men represent the families that are the centre of the story.

The bleak war scenario of Battlestar Galactica is replaced with a drama focused on a society on the verge of change (and destruction, but only the viewer knows that). The pilot is promising, and gives a clear indication of where Cylon technology comes from, and provided some clever jabs at monotheism and the war on terror. It will be interesting to see if the series can maintain the freshness of the pilot, and not disintegrate into trivial family rivalry (eg Dallas).

Dollhouse Season 1 (2009)

2009-10-01T14:14:00.009+10:00

Joss Whedon (Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Dr Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog) returns to the small screen with his much anticipated new series. Especially anticipated because it stars the popular and spunky Eliza Dushku (Faith from Buffy).

The secret Dollhouse organisation programs dolls (male and female) and hires them out to wealthy clients to do with what they will. The dolls (including Dushku as Echo) return and have their brains wiped until the next mission. The season starts without much focus and mostly seems like an excuse to put Eliza in a variety of provocative clothing, until episode 6 when the story starts going somewhere.

FBI agent Paul Ballard (Tahmoh Penikett from Battlestar Galactica) is obsessed with finding the Dollhouse and rescuing Dushku, but all he has is a photo and rumours. Penikett is the real star of the show, because his is the only character that has a goal. Dushku has a new persona each week, which is not very engaging, and the Dollhouse staff are fairly one dimensional. Alpha, a doll who caused trouble in the past, is a more interesting character and the cause of much concern in the organization. It’s a Whedon program, so you know there are motives and complex back stories but they aren’t obvious or explored in Season 1. It’s also a bit annoying being told how outrageously beautiful Dushku is. She’s good, but not that good.

The Pretender used a similar scenario (secret organisation with people who could change character) but had a more coherent story and relatable characters. Dollhouse lacks an angle to grab the attention, and normally Whedon is extremely good at creating a novel angle. Dollhouse is still better than a lot of what is on television, but the bar has been raised for dramas with the complex moral and social dilemmas and back stories in shows like Battlestar Galactica, Dexter, The Shield, etc. Hopefully Season 2 will change the direction for the best.

Episode 13 was filmed especially for the DVD release and/or overseas market. It takes place after the events of season 1 and is set in the near future where the Dollhouse technology is widespread and has lead to worldwide panic and fighting. It is an interesting scenario. Maybe more interesting than the series.